Those crazy apostates...

Here's a doozey of a dream from not too long ago...

*** Dreamt Oct 12-13, 2008 ***

I'd moved to the East coast, I'm thinking New Hampshire or possibly the Boston area...I think in my dream it was actually one of those two, then switched to the other. Anyway, I decided to go check out my ward there, and when I got there I found that their Sunday services were QUITE different than those to which I'd grown accustomed. We all arrived at church, and immediately people started asking me who I was and why I was there, I explained that I'd just moved from Utah, but that I was LDS, so it was okay...I was SUPPOSED to be there. They seemed a bit concerned about me being there, but I WAS, after all, LDS, so they let me be, but they all kept staring at me with worried looks on their faces.

We were all suddenly on a huge wooden boat. An ark, really. I lazily walked around while people stared at me cautiously. Every now and then I'd open a door to see what was inside, and more often than not there were several people in long robes and pointy hands, who'd notice me and then shout, "No no no! Get out!" at me.

Eventually we landed at our destination, which looked like a really big, stone, oil platform. People formed lines and we filed out towards illuminated kiosks in the stone. When you made it to the front of the line, you'd put your name in a little glass tube, put that tube into a drop box, then slide the drop box into the big structure...after a few moments, the drop box would re-open, and have on it 2 numbers. The numbers showed you when you'd be resurrected...the first number was the day of the resurrection, and the second was the order on that day. My number was "6 23", which meant that I'd be the 23rd person resurrected on the 6th day of the resurrection.

At about this point I realized what was going on here; these Latter Day Saints were following the principles taught in D&C Section 42, which had been deemed not doctrine was NOT to be followed.

Something needed to be done.

I called my home ward and asked for assistance, explaining the Section 42 situation. They immediately sent out Bishop Drake, a member of my parents' stake high council. It was good to see Bishop Drake, and the two of us headed back to the ark so he could see what was going on. We, again, took the ark out to the stone platform, and he agreed this was a bad situation. We walked around the ark a bit more, and came to a room where Jesus was. ...Yep.

He'd, actually, come in answer to our prayer to destroy these lost souls. I didn't actually see them destroyed, but I knew he'd done so. So we were standing there, thanking him for coming, and he was very courteous, and was saying things like, "Oh, it's nothing. That's what I'm here for." Then I decided this was a great opportunity to find out some good info, so I asked him what I needed to do to become rich. He said, "Okay, write this down...", I grabbed and pencil and paper and waited on bated breath. "www.FunkyNeonFish.com", he said to me. I wrote it down...then I looked up, confused, "really?" I asked. "Nah", he said. We all had a good laugh at his joke. Then he asked me, "Do you REALLY need to know what to do to become rich?" I thought about it, and realized I really didn't, so I said, "No...I guess I don't". He seemed satisfied with that.

We thanked him, and started to leave as he knelt down to pray. Somehow, via prayer, he was going to leave as well.

I came out of the ark and my family was all there, and we started off down the street towards an open-air mall just ahead. It was about then, that I realized I was in my underwear, which - surprisingly - didn't make me feel overly ashamed, except that there was a huge hole in the butt of them. I grabbed an 8.5"x11" piece of paper to hold behind me to cover the hole, and I decided that at the next place available, I'd buy a pair of jeans.

*** ***

For those interested, D&C 42 is DEFINITELY not a good section to not follow. It's the "Law of the Church"...spelling out the responsibilities of priesthood holders, and dictating much about how things in the church are to be carried out.