GarlickDance 2009: Silent Films

The script has been selected for next years GarlickDance film festival! And the winning script "writer" was me!! Ha!! Okay...the victory isn't nearly as impressive as it sounds, because I didn't really write anything (you'll notice I put "writer" in quotes). My movies tend to be very visual and action driven...and as such the real trick for me is figuring out how I can let the characters say the lines in the script without interfering with my action. So this year I had the idea to submit a script that was blank...basically a dialogue-less script, and it won! Crazy!! Here's what I submitted as my script:

"(This is a dialogue-less script. There is to be no speaking by characters, nor other means of delivering lines as has been used in prior GarlickDance films. As per GarlickDance festival rules, a narrative prologue/postlogue is allowed, but once the film "starts" there is to be no speaking, subtitled actions, or dialogue captions. As with all GarlickDance films, background music with lyrics is allowed so long as the lyrics are not used as a means of delivering lines.)"

Several people have, in past years, complained about being forced to follow the script...this gives those people a chance to have complete freedom as directors. Well...almost complete freedom. So that there will still be a common thread through all the films, it was decided that each film is required to contain: A Duck, A Flower, and A Cutting Tool. These can appear in the films as overtly or as subtly as the directors desire...they've just gotta be in there somewhere. The idea behind having these objects is that they're fairly random, although common enough that it shouldn't be TOO hard to stick them in the films. Traditionally a big part of the GarlickDance Film Festival has been seeing how each director chose to use the same lines in different ways...hopefully these required "objects" will provide a similar How-will-this-director-use-them kinda thing.

Anyway, I'm excited to start. I laid in bed for a good hour before I fell asleep last night, thinking of ideas for dialogue-less films...no real winners yet, but something will come I'm sure.

"Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit..."

*** Toned-Down on September 4, 2008 ***


Undoubtedly by publishing this I'm just opening up a can of worms, however, this is my soap box to the world, so I feel it necessary to vent.

My roommate Thad invented this game called "Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit". In a devious act to back up the claims made in his game, he then wrote a wikipedia page about it, so that he could say he didn't invent it. In a stroke of pure genius he changed some of the rules on the wiki page from his own rules, so it appears that he plays a variation of the "original" version.

The basic idea is that if you can convey the phrase "Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit..." to a person on the first day of the month before they have a chance to say it to you, you have successfully stolen their luck for the month.

You may be surprised to hear that Thad doing this to me doesn't annoy me...although I'm sure you won't be to learn that something else does!! "Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit" is one of the bizarre little Thadisms that I've come to know in my tenure as one of his roommates. When he does it to me, it's almost endearing, 'cuz he's such a strange little fellow from time to time. When other people do it to me, however, it kind of makes me want to KILL PEOPLE.

When Thad 'Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit's me I think, "GAH!! He got me again!!" When other people do it to me I think, "This isn't my game!! What's wrong with you? You're supposed to get Thad!". When Thad gets me, I don't try to get my other roommates who aren't around...I warn them and advise them to get Thad before he can get them.

To be honest, what annoys me isn't the game or that others are using this Thadism against me...it's that they think that they "got me", that they somehow beat me to the punch and out-smarted me. The truth of the matter is that I couldn't care LESS about getting them. The only person I care to 'get' is the originator Thad

Now I'm sure I just offended several people, because several people did it to me this month whom I KNOW read my blog now and then...although ALL of them got me HOURS after Thad did, I might add, at which point I could have text messaged all of them and got them WAY before they "got me", but I don't WANT to get them!! GAAHHHHH!!!!!

Okay. I've said my peace. I'm sure that several readers of this will, out of spite, "Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit" me next month. And once again I'll be incredibly annoyed and be forced to verbally abuse them to myself.

Let's Talk Radio

I love talk radio. No wait, I hate talk radio. Okay...I kinda love to hate talk radio.

Traditionally my car radio has 3 stations programmed into it: x96.3fm KXRK "Live, Local, Alternative", Arrow 103.5fm KRSP "Utah's Classic Hits", & 94.1fm KODJ "Good Times, Great Oldies". This gives me the mix of "Radio From Hell with Kerry, Bill, & Gina" in the mornings, then alternative rock and Beatles when I need it during the rest of the day. I also try to keep the local NPR (National Public Radio) station close at hand to listen to "Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me" and "Car Talk" on the weekends, as well as "All Things Considered" in the evenings sometimes.

Recently, however, after my morning drive to work (during which I still listen to Kerry, Bill, & Gina), I've been changing the station to KVNU 610am Talk Radio. Notably this station plays "Rush Limbaugh", "Dr. Laura", "KVNU: For The People", "Sean Hannity", and "Coast to Coast Live". Luckily I don't listen to the radio much, because I don't think I could stand any of the people on these programs, but in moderation I'm actually quite entertained.


"Rush Limbaugh" - Super obnoxious, and yet if I'm just running an errand and his program's on, I usually listen. He's actually pretty funny.


"Dr. Laura" - HATE HER. Hate her stupid callers. This is how the program works: 1)Someone calls up and tells Dr. Laura how wonderful she is and how grateful they are to be speaking with her, 2) They tell Dr. Laura their problem, 3) Dr. Laura tells them they're an idiot, 4) the caller gets all quiet and sortof offended, 5) Dr. Laura says something like "I'm sorry, but..." then calls them an idiot again, 6) the caller thanks Dr. Laura for her "help". EVERY SINGLE CALL GOES LIKE THIS!!! ...And yet, I can't help but listen to the show and yell at all of them for being morons as though they could hear me.


"KVNU: For The People" - Two under-informed guys from Logan rant about stuff they don't understand. Occasionally they make good points, but more often than not they read a headline from the newspaper and jump to conclusions. I couldn't stand these guys if I had to listen to them for more than the 5 minutes it takes for me to drive home from work.


"Sean Hannity" - I try not to listen to him. Ever. All the obnoxiousness from Rush but with none of the humor. When this comes on I usually check NPR.


"Coast to Coast Live" - The best radio program EVER. Unfortunately this program is on way late at night, so I usually only hear it when I'm driving to or from Logan at night. Have you ever listened to it? If you enjoy listening to the rantings of crazy people, this is the show for you!! The show is done very professionally and unbiased, which is quit amazing considering the topics they cover. My personal favorite show was when they had a guy on talking about how mankind was created by aliens to mine gold for them, but then we revolted, and most things in the bible are actually events having to do with these aliens (the Tower of Bable, for example, which was actually a launching pad for inter-planetary space ships). Other good episodes have dealt with hauntings, Men In Black, Mothman sightings, and how robots will one day become self aware and wipe out humankind. The show's completely ridiculous, and I love it. Whenever I need to drive long distances, I try to do it late at night so I can listen to "Coast To Coast Live" while I'm on the road.


So Talk Radio...love it? Hate it? ...thoughts?

Scrambled!!!

If you are lkie me, then you plbbraoy rcvieee your sarhe of rnadom ealims taht ciotnan random jkeos, funny pceiutrs, or lsits of stnrgae and irtsnnetieg ftacs. One scuh eaiml taht I've seen ciaurlectd seevarl temis is the cailm taht pelpoe tend to jsut skim over wdors wlihe rdeinag, and throefree the atcual oedrr of the leertts is not vrey itpnmaort. The email cialms taht athulogh i'ts srtagne to look at, the aervage psroen can siltl read at aobut the smae rate so long as the fsrit and lsat letrtes of the wodrs raimen in pacle. Well I hvae dcedied to put taht cialm to the test.

As I am srue it is ovrely obuvois to aynone rineadg this psot, by the time I ataclluy pibuslh tihs to my blog, this etnry will hvae been scblmeard fllownoig the guiiendle taht just the fsrit and lsat ltretes need to rimean in tiher prpoer plcaes. To tset out the toehry I just sepnt aobut 10 mintues wriintg a litlte prrgoam taht tkaes a text file, sptlis up all the wdors and then scremblas the inenr letrets. I am cuerlrtny wrntiig this psot unisg natoepd, then rghit bferoe I piusblh it, I will run it trohguh my pgroarm and chcek out the retusls.

I was qiute iemsepsrd at how eailsy I was albe to raed the llitte massgee taht cmoes with taht eaiml...I wednor if it wlil be as easy to raed this, or if taht eamil csohe vrey spfeciic wodrs that it knew wloud be easy to read when sbrleamcd. Let me konw!

Tut, tut, it looks like rain...

I get SO annoyed at bad weather. It just sucks the energy right out of me and I want to sit around and be grumpy. I'm especially annoyed at the moment because (per my last post), I'd just gotten into the swing of being more active, and then all of this dreariness started looming over us in Logan. Sure, I could go the gym & be active, but being stuck inside isn't what I want...I want to be outside walking or running. Saturday, Sunday, & Monday I went on the nicest walks around town...no where in particular...just briskly walking around for an hour or so, and it was great. But the last 3 days it keeps being all drizzley and nasty...I hate it.

It's kind of a strange thing how glancing outside has the power to change one's mood so profoundly. Stranger still is when the weather changes quite rapidly on you, and your mood follows. I definitely feel different when it's raining vs when it's sunny...even if I'm indoors. The most striking example of this was when I used to work in a windowless part of the building at SDL...there'd be days where when I got to work and it was cloudy and raining, so I'd be in a "rainy" mood all day, then suddenly I'd pass a window and see that it was now sunny outside, and I could practically feel my mood re-adjusting itself to match the weather. It's like when you go to the movies in the afternoon & you expect it to be night when you walk outside, but when you exit and all that sunlight so unexpectedly hits you, you have to sortof re-adjust your state of mind to be in a day-time mood instead of a night-time mood.

Am I the only one who experiences this? I can't be, right?

This just in: Work of Fiction May Not Represent the Truth

With the West Virginia democratic primaries, the massive earthquake in China, the deadly cyclones in the southern U.S., and the relief effort in Myanmar, one wonders how reporters with the AP/CNN had any time to research such a ground-breaking report as is found on CNN.com today in their article (I am not making this up):
Experts: 'Indiana Jones' pure fiction

That's right! The folks over at CNN have unraveled Steven Spielberg's greatest hoax: Indiana Jones is not a documentary!!

I know!! I was just as shocked as all of you!!

I, for one, am really hoping that this is the first in a series of 'outings' to be done by CNN...think of the possibilities!

Rocky Balboa...not a real boxer?

Yosemite Sam...not a real cowboy?

Luke Skywalker...not a real Jedi?


I shudder to think of what shocking investigative journalism CNN will undoubtedly dazzle us with tomorrow!

Yea-Yay-Yeah

I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE!!! The American public school system has failed us so thoroughly on this topic that I've decided that I have to make a little lesson about it myself. C'mon, guys...."Yea", "Yay", and "Yeah" are not the same word! I'm SHOCKED at the number of times I see these words incorrectly spelled. Be it in emails, letters, blog posts, or whatever, I'm constantly seeing the wrong Y-word used. Let's start off with some formal definitions...

Yea - \ˈyā\ (adverb, noun) : 1.'Yes' - used in oral voting. 2. indeed - formally. 3. 'Not only this but even'.

Yay - \ˈyā\ (interj.) : An exclamation of pleasure, approval, elation, or victory.

Yeah - \ˈyeə, ˈyaə\ (adverb) : 'Yes' - casually.


I know, I know. Typos happen. But this isn't strictly a typo issue. I see it ALL the time in print (mostly, I theorize, because that's MOSTLY what's available to read), but I've seen these same mistakes occur at approximately the same frequency in pen-to-paper writing, so it's not just a simple muscle-memory typo; people, as a majority, seem not to know this.

'Yea'. Now what I see ALL THE TIME is people inappropriately writing/typing 'Yea' when they mean one of the other two. I don't think I've ever seen (or at least noticed) the other spellings used incorrectly. The funny thing, however, is that "yea" should almost NEVER be used!! It's used in voting and in scripture-formal language to express 'indeed' or 'not only this but even...' and that's really about it!! (Ex. "How does the representative from Utah vote that the improper use of 'yea' should be allowed to continue, 'yea' or 'nay'?" "We vote 'nay', yea, we vote 'nay' whole-heartedly.")

'Yay' is our celebratory exclamation. Write this word when you're happy about something (or unhappy but feel like being sarcastic). (Ex. "We're all going to stop mis-using the word 'yea' all the time! Yay!!!")

'Yeah' is probably the most frequently USED word of the three, and yet, the most frequently written as 'yea'. That extra 'h' at the end makes all the difference in the world by changing our 'yeah' from an affirmative vote to a casual 'yes'. (Ex. "Yeah, I'm kinda anal about this whole 'Yea-Yay-Yeah stuff', but it's driving me crazy!")


Help make this a success!! ...It may end up being the first in my adult education series. Next on the docket: How right-of-way works at 4-Way-Stop Intersections.

"Halt Die Klappe!"

So last night my trying-to-sleep roommate texted me to "Halt Die Klappe!". I, of course, don't speak German, so it seemed like an absurd thing to text me, because if it was instructions of some kind, I sure wasn't going to be able to follow. Luckily another roommate was in the room who claims to know some German, and he told me it meant "Shut up!". I thought surely that can't be right...if anything my roommate would have just said, "be quiet", right? Nope, I looked it up today on multiple sites and all of them interpretted it as a harsh way of telling a German to shut up (several of the interpretations included swear words to define its more precise English meaning).

Now I don't take offense to my arian roomie, because - as stated before - I don't speak German so a harsh phrase in it just sounds like gibberish to me (although I was a tad annoyed that he didn't just open his door and say something, as it was several people being loud). But it got me thinking about curse words. Now language itself is a very odd phenomenon if you think about it...this odd collection of sounds which somehow have meaning to us, but swearing is extra-odd. The concept that certain sound combinations OFFEND us is really kindof mind-boggling. What is it about these words that offend us anyway? It's obviously not the actual meaning behind the word, 'cuz there's a non-swearing way to say the same true meaning behind every curse word I can think of.

Is it bad to swear in another language? I guess it's the same bad-ness that is if you swear when you're by yourself. I've heard it said that the reason it's "bad" to swear is that the offender is exhibiting a loss of self control...but what if you say a swear word NOT in a moment of anger with no malice AND it's in another language...it's completely meaningless to you and your audience...that's not really bad, is it? But then if that's the case is it bad to simply SAY a swear word in your native tounge if you're by yourself (so as not to offend anyone) if you're not saying it in anger and are just saying it for fun? lol. Anyway, just some random thoughts that came from an evening of keeping my poor, sleepy roommate awake. ^^