GarlickDance 2009: Silent Films

The script has been selected for next years GarlickDance film festival! And the winning script "writer" was me!! Ha!! Okay...the victory isn't nearly as impressive as it sounds, because I didn't really write anything (you'll notice I put "writer" in quotes). My movies tend to be very visual and action driven...and as such the real trick for me is figuring out how I can let the characters say the lines in the script without interfering with my action. So this year I had the idea to submit a script that was blank...basically a dialogue-less script, and it won! Crazy!! Here's what I submitted as my script:

"(This is a dialogue-less script. There is to be no speaking by characters, nor other means of delivering lines as has been used in prior GarlickDance films. As per GarlickDance festival rules, a narrative prologue/postlogue is allowed, but once the film "starts" there is to be no speaking, subtitled actions, or dialogue captions. As with all GarlickDance films, background music with lyrics is allowed so long as the lyrics are not used as a means of delivering lines.)"

Several people have, in past years, complained about being forced to follow the script...this gives those people a chance to have complete freedom as directors. Well...almost complete freedom. So that there will still be a common thread through all the films, it was decided that each film is required to contain: A Duck, A Flower, and A Cutting Tool. These can appear in the films as overtly or as subtly as the directors desire...they've just gotta be in there somewhere. The idea behind having these objects is that they're fairly random, although common enough that it shouldn't be TOO hard to stick them in the films. Traditionally a big part of the GarlickDance Film Festival has been seeing how each director chose to use the same lines in different ways...hopefully these required "objects" will provide a similar How-will-this-director-use-them kinda thing.

Anyway, I'm excited to start. I laid in bed for a good hour before I fell asleep last night, thinking of ideas for dialogue-less films...no real winners yet, but something will come I'm sure.

Let's Talk Radio

I love talk radio. No wait, I hate talk radio. Okay...I kinda love to hate talk radio.

Traditionally my car radio has 3 stations programmed into it: x96.3fm KXRK "Live, Local, Alternative", Arrow 103.5fm KRSP "Utah's Classic Hits", & 94.1fm KODJ "Good Times, Great Oldies". This gives me the mix of "Radio From Hell with Kerry, Bill, & Gina" in the mornings, then alternative rock and Beatles when I need it during the rest of the day. I also try to keep the local NPR (National Public Radio) station close at hand to listen to "Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me" and "Car Talk" on the weekends, as well as "All Things Considered" in the evenings sometimes.

Recently, however, after my morning drive to work (during which I still listen to Kerry, Bill, & Gina), I've been changing the station to KVNU 610am Talk Radio. Notably this station plays "Rush Limbaugh", "Dr. Laura", "KVNU: For The People", "Sean Hannity", and "Coast to Coast Live". Luckily I don't listen to the radio much, because I don't think I could stand any of the people on these programs, but in moderation I'm actually quite entertained.


"Rush Limbaugh" - Super obnoxious, and yet if I'm just running an errand and his program's on, I usually listen. He's actually pretty funny.


"Dr. Laura" - HATE HER. Hate her stupid callers. This is how the program works: 1)Someone calls up and tells Dr. Laura how wonderful she is and how grateful they are to be speaking with her, 2) They tell Dr. Laura their problem, 3) Dr. Laura tells them they're an idiot, 4) the caller gets all quiet and sortof offended, 5) Dr. Laura says something like "I'm sorry, but..." then calls them an idiot again, 6) the caller thanks Dr. Laura for her "help". EVERY SINGLE CALL GOES LIKE THIS!!! ...And yet, I can't help but listen to the show and yell at all of them for being morons as though they could hear me.


"KVNU: For The People" - Two under-informed guys from Logan rant about stuff they don't understand. Occasionally they make good points, but more often than not they read a headline from the newspaper and jump to conclusions. I couldn't stand these guys if I had to listen to them for more than the 5 minutes it takes for me to drive home from work.


"Sean Hannity" - I try not to listen to him. Ever. All the obnoxiousness from Rush but with none of the humor. When this comes on I usually check NPR.


"Coast to Coast Live" - The best radio program EVER. Unfortunately this program is on way late at night, so I usually only hear it when I'm driving to or from Logan at night. Have you ever listened to it? If you enjoy listening to the rantings of crazy people, this is the show for you!! The show is done very professionally and unbiased, which is quit amazing considering the topics they cover. My personal favorite show was when they had a guy on talking about how mankind was created by aliens to mine gold for them, but then we revolted, and most things in the bible are actually events having to do with these aliens (the Tower of Bable, for example, which was actually a launching pad for inter-planetary space ships). Other good episodes have dealt with hauntings, Men In Black, Mothman sightings, and how robots will one day become self aware and wipe out humankind. The show's completely ridiculous, and I love it. Whenever I need to drive long distances, I try to do it late at night so I can listen to "Coast To Coast Live" while I'm on the road.


So Talk Radio...love it? Hate it? ...thoughts?

Scrambled!!!

If you are lkie me, then you plbbraoy rcvieee your sarhe of rnadom ealims taht ciotnan random jkeos, funny pceiutrs, or lsits of stnrgae and irtsnnetieg ftacs. One scuh eaiml taht I've seen ciaurlectd seevarl temis is the cailm taht pelpoe tend to jsut skim over wdors wlihe rdeinag, and throefree the atcual oedrr of the leertts is not vrey itpnmaort. The email cialms taht athulogh i'ts srtagne to look at, the aervage psroen can siltl read at aobut the smae rate so long as the fsrit and lsat letrtes of the wodrs raimen in pacle. Well I hvae dcedied to put taht cialm to the test.

As I am srue it is ovrely obuvois to aynone rineadg this psot, by the time I ataclluy pibuslh tihs to my blog, this etnry will hvae been scblmeard fllownoig the guiiendle taht just the fsrit and lsat ltretes need to rimean in tiher prpoer plcaes. To tset out the toehry I just sepnt aobut 10 mintues wriintg a litlte prrgoam taht tkaes a text file, sptlis up all the wdors and then scremblas the inenr letrets. I am cuerlrtny wrntiig this psot unisg natoepd, then rghit bferoe I piusblh it, I will run it trohguh my pgroarm and chcek out the retusls.

I was qiute iemsepsrd at how eailsy I was albe to raed the llitte massgee taht cmoes with taht eaiml...I wednor if it wlil be as easy to raed this, or if taht eamil csohe vrey spfeciic wodrs that it knew wloud be easy to read when sbrleamcd. Let me konw!

"Watch the Sun Come Up"

Last night after an exciting episode of "Lost", a bit of stimulating conversation, and a rousing game of "Signs", what were left of the Lost Party People (the LPPs) hung out in the front room of the ButterKnife Estates and unwrapped lots of Valentine's Day candies to see what was written on the inside of the wrappers, which were sortof like Valentine's Day fortune cookie messages. Both the first and third that I opened read "Watch the Sun Come Up", to which I exclaimed each time, "No!!" ...I mean seriously, do you REALIZE how early the sun comes up?!? If I have to leave the house at 7:45am (which I do on Fridays), I make it a point to never get up before 7:30!

Well this morning I found myself just about to enter Old Main at about 8:10 heading to my 8:30 class when I glanced at the mountains to the East and noticed that the sun was just about to come up over them. "Who am I to argue with a piece of candy?", I thought, and I stepped off the sidewalk to face the arrival of the sun. It was actually quite a relaxing thing to just stand there for 13 minutes watching and waiting. As it turns out, although the sun "officially" rose this morning at 7:24am, the sun didn't peek over the mountains until 8:23am...I know, 'cuz I was there. Standing there, I became very aware of all of the other people who were bustling to and from classes, as I had just been moments before; I hadn't really noticed them when I was among them...funny how that is.

It had been a LONG time since I'd actually witnessed the sun coming up, and I'd forgotten what it looks like at that moment the sun first appears. The edge of the mountains grew brighter and brighter, and I began to wonder if the appearance of the sun may be a let down and that it would almost unnoticably slide into view with how bright it was becoming along the cusp of the mountains. Maybe I would be standing there, watching, and suddenly think, "Oh wait a minute, it's already up!"

A few professors from my department passed me, discussing how it's a shame how so many professors in the C.S. department only want to teach the graduate level classes. I continued to watch. It was SO bright now. "Is this bad for my eyes?", I wondered, "Is it up yet?" I looks around on the ground...no shadows. I checked the blue part of the sky...no clouds. Nope, definately not up yet. I continued to watch.

A car pulled up and girl got out with an armful of books. She thanked the driver, slammed the passenger side door, and headed up to Old Main. I wondered if she wondered what I was doing, just standing there in the cold. As I had walked up Old Main Hill I'd thought about how cold it was, but now that I could just stand there with my hands in my pockets, it didn't seem so bad.

The edge of the mountain exploded. Golden light shot out in four directions where the mountain had been brightest. This definately was noticable. What started out as a tiny point source of golden light was rapidly increasing in size...it was fascinating how long it took the sun to peek over the mountains, and yet once it caught a glimpse of what was on this side, it wanted to fully clear the obstructing pile of rocks as quickly as possible. A gust of air came from the east as I looked around to make sure there were shadows now...there were. "Excellent," I thought,"what a well spent few minutes."

I climbed back onto the sidewalk, turned, and went to class.

Christmas Music is in the Air

We're waist-deep in the christmas season now, and as a result one of my favorite (and at the same time one of the most annoying) annual occurances is happening: The exact same set of christmas songs are playing on the radio EVERYWHERE you go. While sitting at work I was listening to the radio online, and was frequently finding myself thinking about how much I liked or disliked certain seasonal tunes, and so I decided to put together my top 5's in each category.

Favorites: (in no particular order)
1- "The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting)" performed by Nat "King" Cole
What a voice! I don't know who originally worte this song, but Nat absolutely perfected it!

2- "Little Drummer Boy" performed by Bing Crosby and David Bowie
I love this version of this song! Sure, Bing's past his prime and not at his best here, but David IS, and together they sound fabulous!

3- "Merry Christmas, Darling" by The Carpenters
Such a pretty song by such a skinny woman!

4- "Sleigh Ride" performed by the Boston Pops Orchestra
Possibly my favorite Christmas song, nothing gets me more in the Christmas mood than hearing the orchestral version of this classc.

5- "Christmastime is Here" by Vince Guaraldi
A great jazzy little tune from one of my favorite Christmas Shows ("Charlie Brown's Christmas").

Runners up: "The Night Before Christmas" by Amy Grant, "This Christmas I Spend With You" by Robert Goulet.


LEAST Favorites: (again, in no particular order)
1- "Sleigh Ride" performed by Johnny Mathis
I really, really dislike Johnny Mathis' voice, and in this song he accentuates everything I dislike about it. From his sliding to pretty much every note to his astoundingly annoying "Giddy-YUP"s, I just can't stand this stinker.

2- "Blue Christmas" by Elvis Presley
WHY?!? Who told Elvis he could sing slow? Come on, fess up to it! Yeesh...just awful.

3- "Do They Know It's Christmas" by Band Aid
The British Music Performers sad attempt to duplicate the awesomeness of "We Are The World", this song was thrown together in one 24-hour recording session, and with lyrics like "Tonight thank God it's them instead of you", it shows.

4- "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town" performed by The Beach Boys
I could just have easily put "Little St. Nick" or "Santa's Beard" in here, which are each about the same level of annoying as this one, but the combination of bizzare circus music in the background the pretty awful-sounding solo voice who sings most of the song just push this one over the top for me.

5- "Baby It's Cold Outisde" performed by Dean Martin
Okay, now I actually really like duet-ness of this song, but the Dean Martin version just kinda creeps me out. The dude sounds like a predator!! Leave her alone, man! "No" means "no"!!

Runners up: "Jingle Bells Boogie" by The Jingle Dogs...This extends to any christmas song comprised of nothing but meows and barks or other sound effects.


What songs can you not wait for and what ones do you dread this time of year?

Why I currently have a goatee...

Power Showers

Do you ever take a shower that makes you feel EXCEPTIONALLY clean? I'm not just talking your normal run-of-the-mill, use soap = don't stink type of showers. Every now and then I'll take a shower that just seemed MORE cleansing than normal, and for several hours afterward I'll still have that minty fresh feeling.

Yesterday I took a shower like that, and it made my day! Well...the rest of it. I took it in the afternoon, and I think maybe that's part of the trick. In the mornings I'm too sleepy to appreciate the power shower and at night I go to bed too quickly following it. That midday shower, though...it's really the prime time to appreciate the power shower's effects.

What time is it? Oh my gosh! I have to work tomorrow!! Why am I still up!?!?

Blogging for Blog's Sake

Well I've not had a good dream recently to write about, but I couldn't let the entire month of August slip by without so much as an entry on my blog, so I'm going to share about one of my favorite new things.

Johnathan Coulton!

Johnathan Coulton is a singer/songwriter who did one of the coolest things I've ever heard of. He made a weekly podcast called "Thing of the Week" where he released a new song via the internet every week for an entire year. But here's the kicker: They're actually pretty darn good! He wasn't just throwing garbage out there, they're actually some really good songs. Another pretty awesome thing is that he charges $1 per song to own, but then you pretty much own the song. You're free to use it whatever you want without fear of getting sued or anything. I'm a fan. And he's definately a tech geek, as is evident by the subject of many of his songs.

The last few days at work I've been listening to a lot of his songs, but BY FAR my two favorite are "Code Monkey" and "Flickr".

For the uninitiated, a "Code Monkey" is kindof a derogatory term for a computer programmer who can grind out computer code, but probably doesn't have the higher-primate skills of software architecture, analysis, and design. I love this song, and there's a kinda cool video somebody made for it on youtube. You can check it out here. Now remember, Jonathan Coulton just made the song, not the video (which, incidentally, was made using the videogame "World of Warcraft"). This may not be as cool to other people as it is to me since I am a computer programmer myself, but even so, I think most people would appreciate the cleverness of the lyrics style and recognize it as a pretty good song overall. As a warning, however, right near the beginning of the song, he does curse once, so you may not want to blast this song where sensitive ears may be.

"Flickr" is also a great song, but more than a song, you GOTTA watch the video. Flickr.com is a photo-sharing website where anybody can stick their photos up there for people to view. Johnathan Coulton went out there and viewed a couple of pages of random pictures and made this song & video about what he saw. Again, this video is watchable on youtube here, but I'm pretty sure that Johnathan actually made this video himself. It's crazy how it's super random, and yet such a good song! Even if I couldn't see the pictures, I think I'd still love it, but having seen the pictures it's just that much better. Again, there's 1 or 2 little moments that may make you blush, but nothing too bad. They could definately play this song on the radio without having to edit it. And watch for my favorite part: Dwyer! haha.

Mmm-K. Go watch, listen, and enjoy!